Welcome to The Holy Chutzpah

But first, what is it?

The Holy Chutzpah is a newsletter designed to celebrate Judaism, the Jewish people, and Israel. While it takes chutzpah to create this space at a time when antisemitism is skyrocketing around the world, I’ve been told it takes even more chutzpah—Holy Chutzpah—to convert to Judaism in the wake of October 7^th, the worst massacre of Jews since the Holocaust.

Well then. I need someone to please hold my wine while I raise my hand high in the air because I recently started the conversion process. I’m becoming a Jew. I’ve got Holy Chutzpah.

My Jewish friends and loved ones are excited by my enthusiasm, but they are also concerned. I love your chutzpah, Jen, but if you’re going to be a Jew, you need to learn to hide.

But I’m a writer—how can I hide?

Speaking of hiding, I planned the launch date of this newsletter before knowing it would coincide with the Jewish holiday of Purim; in fact, I only recently learned the details of how Queen Esther hid her Jewish identity from her husband, the king, until she bravely revealed herself in order to save the Jewish people from the evil Haman. If I’d suffered any hesitation about starting a Jewish-themed newsletter during a time of global antisemitism, I surely gained courage from Esther’s bravery. I hope all Jewish readers feel empowered when they revisit the Megillah this weekend.

My introduction to Queen Esther’s story happened at the Chabad, where the Rebbetzin gave an inspirational lecture on choosing to follow one’s divine purpose. It was Mordecai who suggested what Esther ought to do, but ultimately, it was Esther’s individual courage—her Holy Chutzpah—that enabled her decision to risk her own life to save the Jewish people, thereby fulfilling her divine mission.

The Rebbetzin encouraged all who attended the lecture to consider what divine purpose they might bring to this life. What were our gifts? And how could we use them for the good of humanity?

Later that same week, I attended a study session with my conservative rabbi. He explained that converts are understood as already having a Jewish neshamah (soul) but are born into gentile families. When they convert, they are returning home, so to speak.

But why would a Jewish soul get born into a gentile family in the first place?

Reflecting back on the Rebbetzin’s lecture on divine purpose, I wondered if some Jewish souls are born outside the gene pool in order to spark some light within the Jewish community when they do undergo conversion, especially in times of despair. But should a person just starting her conversion to Judaism make so bold a claim? Assert herself as that important?

Maybe she should, which is to say: Maybe I should.

In a world where some Jews are trying to either hide or “step out” of their Jewishness, whether from fear or apathy, perhaps the convert offers an alternative demonstration: Look here. I’m choosing to be Jewish. I am with you in spirit and solidarity. You are not alone.

Chag Purim Sameach,

Jen

In celebration of Purim, I’m sharing a picture of these clowns, painted by my husband’s great grandfather, the Israeli artist Yitzhak Frenkel:

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